Fansided

University of Tennessee Officials Question Barack Obama’s Involvement in Losing Streak to Gators

ByCaleb Calhoun|

After losing to the Florida Gators for the 11th straight year, Tennessee Volunteers officials are questioning Barack Obama’s involvement in the streak.

Citing a winless record against the Florida Gators in football throughout his presidency and an inconsistency over the past five years in the disparity between the two schools and the result on the field, University of Tennessee officials are searching for answers from President Barack Obama about the Vols losing streak to the Gators.

What was his involvement in the losing streak? Why won’t he accept any blame for what is happening? Where exactly was President Obama during each of these Tennessee-Florida games?

And how much did he know before the games were kicked off?

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A prominent state official suggested that Obama has been involved in this rivalry since he took office as part of his efforts to destroy traditional American values.

“Before President Obama took over, Tennessee-Florida was a real rivalry that everybody cherished. It was part of the very fabric of America,” he said. “Now, it is just another game brushed aside each year, made less significant by each Florida win in this streak. It is too much of a coincidence for Obama not to be involved.”

University and state officials have decided to take matters into their own hands, noting that an 11-game losing streak to the Gators does not add up.

Obama has been asked to reveal his birth certificate again to prove he was not born in Florida now, and Hillary Clinton’s private email account will also be checked for any conversations about the rivalry.

Even text messages between Obama and Tom Brady are being called into question, given the fact that Brady would seem to be in on it since his rivalry with Peyton Manning in the NFL might negatively affect his feelings on the Vols. It would also explain why Brady did not show up to the White House during the New England Patriots Super Bowl Ceremony: he and the president can’t seem too close.

Joe Biden, however, has called it all a bunch of malarkey and said while working on his train the other day that it does not matter because neither team would ever be able to beat the University of Delaware.

Although the Vols were winless against the Gators all four years during the second term of George W. Bush as well, a prominent school official said this is no time to look back to the previous presidency.

“There is no doubt that President Obama inherited a mess when he took over, as the Vols were already in the midst of a four-game losing streak to the Gators,” the state official said. “But we are now three years into his second term, seven years after he took over as president, and he has tripled the losing streak. How long before we hold him accountable?”

However, another school official said that it is completely unfair to blame the president for the Vols’ misfortunes in the series and noted things are getting better.

“When President Obama took over, the rivalry was already in free-fall. Tennessee had lost 59-20 to Florida in 2007, and the bottom fell out as they lost 30-6 the next year just two months before he got elected,” this official said. “During his first term, the Vols kept every game within 20 points, and now in his second term, they lost by one point in back to back years. You can see the improvement, and if you just give him time to see it through, you will see the result.”

Officials calling into question Obama’s involvement in the Tennessee losing streak also have a motive already in mind Apparently, they have centered it around the idea that he campaigned so heavily in Florida during both elections but did not need Tennessee, and this winning streak is just him returning the favor for Florida voting for him both times.

The same could be said about why Florida won all four times during Bush’s second-term, as that state was the difference-maker in his victory in 2004, even though Tennessee went for him that year as well.

One reason school officials may be reluctant to investigate Bush, however, is due to the fact that the Vols went 3-1 against the Gators during his first term following the 2000 election, and Tennessee was indeed the difference-maker in that one, as he carried more than 50 percent of the vote in that state despite Al Gore being from there.

Sure, Florida decided that election as well, but Bush would appear more willing to reward Tennessee because it went for him without causing any controversy.

All of this has caused the officials to rally their fingers at Obama and point it at him. With another potential government shutdown looming and John Boehner set to resign from Speaker of the House, it is unclear whether or not Congressional Republicans will call for any investigations at this point.

But while neither U.S. Senator from Tennessee was willing to comment on the matter, four of the state’s nine Congressman have already approached the idea of subpoenas and possibly impeachment if something illegal went on.

We will have to wait and see what comes out of this.

This article is satire as is every quote in it. The only people anybody in the state is blaming for Tennessee’s loss to Florida on Saturday are people with the Tennessee football program.

Next: SEC Power Rankings Week Five: Gators, Vols Stay Put

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